From time to time, we have to make major life decisions that can set us off on a completely new path.

It’s scary to think that one decision can change our lives forever and it’s even scarier to decide which path is the right one. So what are you going to do?

You obviously want to do what’s going to make you happy, but how are you going to know?

Take this hypothetical scenario: you’ve been working for a company for a few years, and things are not too bad. Although your job eats away most of your time and doesn’t allow you to explore your creative potential, the salary you receive is enough to help you make ends meet. You feel safe knowing that you’re going to receive a check at the end of the month, but you recognize that you want to do something else…and you also recognize that doing something else involves a big trade off, which is the risk of failure…

… and you need to decide if you should stay at your job or do something else.

So what should you do?

This is typically the kind of situation where things are not too bad to quit and they’re not good enough to stay. In other words, it’s a stalemate.

In these kinds of situations, some people use a decision grid. They list the pros and cons of each decision and weigh in all the relevant factors and systematically analyze each option until they (hopefully) arrive at the better one. However, this is much easier said than done. Giving the “right” weight to each factor is a little tricky. You might outweigh some or underestimate the overall importance of others and you’ve screwed up the whole process.

Another major problem with the decision gird is that you can go back and forth between the pros and cons of your choices until you drive yourself crazy. If you really want to, you can go back and forth between your choices almost infinitely, and that’s not an intelligent way to make a decision. In fact, doing this kind arithmetic and using a decision grid, in my experience, is confusing at best and useless at worst.

So I’ve come up with a way that can help you decide what’s best for you and to do so within 20 minutes. Here are the two strategies I use:

1. Strategy #1: “Help a Stranger”

People are often too close to their problems, and because of that proximity, they end up losing sight of important distinctions and fail to make an accurate assessment of their choices.

In order to make a good choice, the first thing you need to do is to ABSTRACT yourself from the actual situation. In fact, I want you to suppose the problem you’re facing is not yours. Suppose it’s someone else’s, preferably someone you don’t know as that will help you take your emotions out of it.

Now comes the important part:

Suppose you’re out with your friends and their friends and one of these people comes up to you and asks you for advice on your very problem as though it was theirs. What would you tell that person to do? How would you tell him or her to think about it? What do you think are the available options for a person with this kind of challenge?Should they act now or wait?

You will be surprised by how much more clarity you will have when you try to help a “stranger” or “someone else”. Have you ever wondered why people are able to solve other people’s problems but they struggle to solve their own? The reason is simple: people are emotionally invested in their problems…and when they’re emotionally invested they can’t properly evaluate the issue at stake. They become biased.

2. Strategy #2: “Five Years into the Future”

People also make bad decisions because they don’t look far enough into the future.

So your second tool to making a good decision is to FAST FORWARD a few years into the future. This means that you have to look back at yourself from a 5 year vantage point and see how your future self would feel about the decision you’re about to make right now.

Would your future self regret not switching careers? Would your future self regret staying at your job? Would your future self regret not asking someone out? Would your future self be angry with you for not taking advantage of the opportunity you have right now? This technique works because we all regret doing or not doing certain things 5 or so years ago. Right? Don’t you look back today and regret not asking someone out a few years ago? Don’t you look back today and regret not saving your money a few years ago? We all do, and so using this technique will dramatically minimize your regrets. In essence, it will help you recognize how to be happy today and in the future.

If 5 years is too much for you, then use any length of time makes most sense to you; as long as it allows you to look back at yourself with some objectivity.

3. You Can’t Accept it?

When using these two techniques, you’re pretty much guaranteed to figure out the right answer. However, this doesn’t mean that you will accept the right answer. For example, you might’ve reached the conclusion that you should quit your job, but accepting that that’s what you should do might take you some time; depending on the kind person you are. The same goes for relationship: you’ve decided that your partner isn’t right for you, but you’re having a hard time accepting the decision to leave and move on.

While it can indeed be hard for some people to accept what they have to do, the reality is that acceptance won’t come by thinking. If you want to accept that you should quit your job, then you should begin taking the necessary steps to either find a job that’s a better fit for you or begin investing your time building a skill and trying to start a business. If you’re having a hard time accepting that you need to find a new partner, then it’s time to have a conversation with your partner and take steps to move on.

Merely thinking about the right decision and trying to accept it won’t do much to change how you feel.

Doing is what will change how you feel, so take action.