Ever since The Secret was published, people of all walks of life have used the Law of Attraction (LoA) with mixed results. Some swear by it, while some swear at it.

The Law of Attraction is premised on the idea that the energy, thoughts, and beliefs we carry; the so-called “vibrations,” tend to be self-fulfilling. We bring into our lives the people and events that match the vibrational frequency that we put out into the universe.  And the more we focus on these thoughts and beliefs, the more likely it is for the universe to respond to us. Simply put, like attracts like.

There are a lot of misconceptions about how the Law of Attraction is supposed to work. The most common of which is the assumption that the very act of believing is sufficient to produce the results one desires. So if you wish to become rich, and you focus on this thought with everything you got, then, as the assumption goes, you’ll begin to see actual wealth in your life. People also believe they can repel what they don’t want in their lives by not focusing on those things. So if you’re overweight and wish to lose some excess weight, then, as the advice goes, you should stop observing overweight people, and the extra weight will (somehow) slowly come off. But this is one of those misconception that a lot of people have about how to use the Law of Attraction. People hold such beliefs because they desperately need help, and they want to believe they can solve their problems by using the “power” of their minds without taking the necessary action. However, it’s not only naïve to think this way, but it’s also a surefire way to bring false hope and disappointment in your life.

1. Stop Dreaming About Wealth on Your Couch

Whenever you remove yourself from the action paradigm and unto the realm of “pure thinking”, you become a professional couch potato. People sit around all day dreaming about becoming all sorts of stuff; about becoming rich, about having cool friends, about happier relationships, about the body they want to have, about the date they want to go on, and about places they wish they can visit. It’s easy to dream about these things from the comfort of your own couch. And it’s easier not to take action and to wait for the universe to respond to you.

However, let’s just suppose for the sake of argument that you’ve thought really hard about the things you wanted, and the universe did in fact respond to you. Imagine you thought really hard about going out with the woman or man of your dreams, and on one of those days, you managed to attract that person to your doorstep and into your life. What are you going to do when she/he unexpectedly arrives? Open the door with food stains all over your shirt, your gut hanging out, looking like you haven’t showered in a few days? What are you going to talk about? Do you even have good enough social skills to carry on a conversation? Are you interesting? Are you going to introduce her/him to your cool imaginary friends?

So even if the universe does give you what you want, how on earth are you going to keep it? If all of a sudden the universe deposited a bunch of money into your bank account, how are you going to invest it? What are the calculated financial risks are you going to take? What business relationships and opportunities have you cultivated? Are you part of a professional network that keeps you up to date on the latest trends? Do you know much about market research? What about running a business? I don’t want you to think that it’s hard to learn how to do these things, it’s not. But you have to be willing to invest in improving yourself first.

2. Are You Thinking Without Intending?

In her recent article in the Huffington Post, Kelli Cooper writes that merely thinking about things won’t make these things a reality. She believes that the solution to making your dream become a reality lies in harmonizing your thoughts and emotions. Once you’re able to realize this alignment the law of attraction will begin to do its work in your life. So not only do you have to think about, say, losing weight, but you also have to feel a genuine desire or intention about having the weight off.

She also writes that you have to first understand and then address what’s blocking you from seeing the weight come off. These could be beliefs about how you think you’ll be seen or judged by your friends and peers once the weight is off, or beliefs about the mental pain or physical hunger you’ll have to go through during the weight loss process and so on. So you have to clear out the contradictions in your belief system and make a genuine effort to align your intention, desires and beliefs such that they are congruent with what you want to attract in your life. Only then, she claims, would you be able to bring into your life what you desire.

3. Intend to Take Action

However, I don’t think Cooper goes far enough in her recommendation. To reiterate what I said earlier, without taking consistent action, you can’t expect health, wealth, and relationships to stumble into your life.

It’s impossible for you to receive a job offer from the company of your dreams without submitting an application or showing up for an interview; even if you wholeheartedly intended to work at such a company. Fortune 500 companies receive hundreds upon hundreds of applications for every opening they advertise. How are they going to know that you might be interested? What if the hiring team doesn’t believe in the law of attraction? This seems to be the problem with mind-centric approaches. They de-prioritize the importance of taking consistent action and lead you to become a victim of these very thoughts.

On the other hand, even if you were an astound believer in the Law of Attraction, it would be absurd for you to think that you received a certain job offer because of your vibrational frequency. Consider the following: suppose you submitted an application, got invited to an interview and performed well, and you later received the job offer. Are you going to believe that you were selected because the universe helped manifest that opportunity? I mean, you sure can think of it that way, but the best rational explanation would be something like: you were the perfect match for the needs and demands of the position and you fulfilled all the criteria they were looking for. So give yourself credit, and not to the magical powers of the galaxy.

So what are some actionable steps you can take to attract health, wealth and relationships into your life?

1. Determine what skills and abilities you need to develop. This could be working on your confidence, public speaking, physical appearance, sense of worth, and self-empowering beliefs. Find avenues where you can practice those skills. Try Toastmasters or take acting classes, or get in touch with me.
2. Put yourself out there with a genuine desire to learn and grow. This includes becoming comfortable speaking to strangers, going to conferences, learning how to sell yourself, asking for help. Because you’re going to put yourself out there, you will inevitably experience rejection. Don’t take it personally. Remember, you’re planting the seeds of your future growth.
3. Use every opportunity to your advantage. Sometimes, you won’t get the job you desire or the paycheck that you want. But you need to find one thing about that job that you can do to improve your skills. This could be improving your customer service skills, or improving your writing skills by writing reports, summaries, or proposals, or just about anything that can add value to your personal growth within the workspace of that company.
4. Use your time wisely. Don’t waste your time with people that don’t or wont’ help you get closer to your dreams. The world is filled with such people. If these people are family or relatives, then establish clear boundaries with respect to what you will or will not tolerate. If you can’t find good friendships, then big deal. Spend your time investing in yourself and you will soon grow the confidence and skills to meet the people you want. See my article on confidence, and try it today. It’s free.
5. Recognize that you need to put time into it. Expecting fast money or fast relationships or health will only keep you at square one. Learn to take action every single day, no matter how big or small, and within 6 months, new opportunities will open up in your life.
6. If you get the gig you want, over-deliver. Three rules will determine your success. Over-deliver, over-deliver, and over-deliver. Go the extra mile to show others that they should invest in you. Don’t be argumentative, short-tempered, or slow. Be grateful and over-deliver.

Finally, please recognize that things happen in your life not because you think them, but because you act or don’t act on them. Start thinking about earning success instead of manifesting it, and the results will come.